TEWT* or a guide to a bunny-wuss

I leave the kibbutz, turn right, disguised by eucalyptus trees from other wars, twist with the road, and Hopa! No eucalyptus trees. The view to the north of the Hula Valley opens, spread before me, with the town of Al-Khiam in Lebanon towering at its end. To its right is Kfarchouba on the slopes of Mount Hermon, and to its left is the town of Odaisseh, peeking from a hill between Misgav Am and Metula.

The illustration is made from a photo I took in Kiryat Shemona. The Graffitty says: "Only I decide here."

Exposed in the Hyundai's hatchback, I drive north. At any moment, an Anti-tank missile can flutter at me. A flash of fire or a cloud of smoke, and Hopa! Break with the Hyundai to the fields, sink in the mud, halt in some ditch. Unload outside before the rocket burns my soul.

The gaze jumps from side to side, looking for something wrong: smoke, fire, sharp movement. Every Stork is a KATYUSHA, and every Otter is a crawling terrorist.

If I survive the exposed road between Lahavot and Anafa Hill, I arrive at an unnamed junction near the hill. They built a concrete bunker that controls the intersection. It got a firing slit, like in 'Band of Brothers' the WWII TV series that Spielberg produced, not the movement that Netanyahu ignited. The bunker is relatively new in the landscape and creeps at challenging levels. Before they built it, there were just excavations, connection tunnels, concertinas, and sandbags.

The dilemma at the intersection is enormous for a junction with no name. One option is to continue north through the checkpoint of Kfar Szold with the optimistic sign "Warning! - Red Axis - You are entering a threatened road". At the checkpoint, soldiers are immersed in their phones, a quiet testimony to the duality of the situation.

The second option is going west through the road between Sde Nehemia and Kiryat Shmona.

Why a dilemma?

Because north of the checkpoint in Kfar Szold, you pass by "The Mother" Hill, a 9M133 Kornet missile almost peeled a car a few days ago, but if you pass "Horshat Tal", the eucalyptus reappear, and you can drive calmly. The second option is to drive exposed from Sde Nehemia to Kiryat Shmona, which is actually to pass by Beit Hillel, where there is also a checkpoint with the same optimistic sign and Anti-Tank missiles flying over them all the time. On top of that, they have the most alert emergency squad, and because they are so uptight, they shoot at pelicans or themselves whenever there are sirens.

Dilemma.

Choose option B: cross the green (Joseph) bridge, press the gas and fly forward. I hope the bunkers won't shoot me. I wish The yellow gate on the road to Kiryat Shmona would be open, and no KATYUSHA would miss Beit Hillel and fly over me. If something arrives, it will come from the north. The only shelter is a drainage ditch north of the road packed with prickly raspberry bushes and reeds. So break right to the tunnel and order a tow truck. That's the drill.

A crow jumped, and my heart froze. I almost finished in the ditch. Every crow that dives near the Hyundai clings me down, my head folded between my shoulders, hiding behind the steering wheel. It's pecan season, so the crows dive and toss pecans on the road, hoping it'll crush them so they can nibble.

Slalom between bursts of pecans until the entrance to Kiryat Shmona and Hopa! Shelter under the Schchumit hill.

I live in the highest building in Kiryat Shmona, which is adjacent to the police station. The building caught one rocket in the Second Lebanon War, and at the beginning of this war, an Anti-Tank missile hit a house one street above. You can see my erected building from all of southern Lebanon. You can't ignore it. If there is a target in Kiryat Shmona, it is my building. If there is a tunnel, it is under it; if there is a ground invasion, it is on it.

At the entrance of the building, there is still a "Scanned" sticker even though restless tenants come and go and come again. I climb the stairs gently, not to wake anyone. Plastic chairs are scattered in the stairwell. This is supposed to be the safest area in the building. In the Second Lebanon War, the KATYUSHA formed a new window on the seventh floor with a diameter of a meter. But what will Burkan do?

I leave the door open to escape quickly and check if my chef's knife is still stored in its drawer. I've got a wooden pestle hanging at the entrance to the living room. There are empty Goldstar bottles in the laundry room, Turpentine because of my print engraving, a Glycerin I bought to mix watercolors, and impact glue.

I'm ready.

Suppose a tunnel opens in the yard, and thirty terrorists from Radwan's force take over the building. In that case, as the terrorists approach the building, I prepare Molotov cocktails, throw them out the window, turn the computer table, and hide behind it. Suppose they launch a 9M133 Kornet missile at the house. In that case, I crawl and hide in the bathtub, wait for them by the door with the wooden pestle, hit the first terrorist on the head, snatch his Kalashnikov, shoot his friends, take magazines and grenades from him, roll grenades to the stairwell, slide on the railing while shooting and escape from the building a second before a Burkan collapses it. Hopa! Jump to the Hyundai and hit the gas straight to the nut shop in the shopping center, on the far side below my building, to hide from the shrapnel flying from the blast. It's too bad the store is closed; I would buy roasted mixed nuts without salt to eat as I wait in line for compensation from the Government property tax.

• TEWT - Tactical Exercise Without Troops. "War game" with the participation of unit commanders and their officers without soldiers in the training area. The exercise was held in the past using communication and telephones (hence also called "phone exercise") and today using C&C (control and command) systems. (From Wikipedia)

This post was translated from The original Hebrew with Microsoft Copilot, Grammarly, and Google Bard. I'll be happy to know if you have any suggestions or corrections.

Thanks.